On the first day of Christmas Awesome, my true love gave to me…

Mrs. Elfenstein and I decided to brave the snowstorm to take a road trip to the Habitat for Humanity ReStore and to price out a new sofa today. When we got to the furniture store, though, it was really tiny and pricey and pretentious, and she felt all weird about going in. Then I felt all weird about going in because I knew she felt weird, so we decided to instead hit the nearby Goodwill we had passed on our way in.

Score!

They had 6 to 10 shelves worth of Christmas ornaments. Two Black Santas, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle ornament, and a wasted-looking homemade, felt snowman. Also, there was a baby Jesus, an archangel, and a whole crapload of Wise Men all missing their right arms, all on the same shelf together.

We were able to replace the Pope John Paul II ornament that is curiously missing (along with Old Troll and the styrofoam snowman family – where the heck are they?), which pleased Mrs. Elfenstein immensely, but the crown jewel of the trip was Santa’s Mail Maw:

When we went to check out, the cashier was a kindly lady who declared Santa’s Mail Maw to be “cute” and lovingly placed him in the bag. She seemed unsure whether placing the Pope in Santa’s mouth was OK or not, but then got the Spirit and gleefully announced that “it just makes me so happy; I can put anything I want in his mouth!”

Oh, I know, Goodwill lady, how I know . .